Listening Skills -The child hack!

Eavesdropping - The Mantra!

Listening skill, the most crucial skill for any human, is mostly expected of children but it’s about time someone discussed the importance of listening skills for us ‘the parents!’.

The day a child is born, parents start framing aspirations. It begins with the diapers brands to matchmaking. Phew!! I would say let the innocent child see the world at least. Parents envisage a speculative future for their child. There is nothing wrong about it but there is!, or at least there is something to discuss here. Unparalleled education for the child is of colossal concern to the parents; the foundation of which is getting into a good school (good or famous?). Bazillions of unanswered questions overcast the brain, which causes chronic stress and chokes the brain.

I met a group of parents seeking school admission for their child; to satisfy my zest of understanding the parents mindsets, I asked one of the ladies; tall, fair and carrying the book ‘A Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ by Robin Sharma, though I don’t think she was about to sell her Fendi bag any time soon. As she snagged her Gucci shades, she said ‘hey! Are you here for counseling too?’, with a confused look I replied, “No!” and asked her what an unbeatable education for the child would be?. This led to a discussion amongst other parents too. Being an educator, having intensively interacted with parents I have observed, parents are more interested in where they want their child to be rather than where the child belongs.

Parents may not realize the profundity of the decisions they’re making. For most parents, choices made for children are impelled by perception, hear say, and societal pressures. . Most of these are a shallow criteria.

Parents! Parents! Parents! Before deciding the future of your children just look at your children, talk to them, LISTEN to them, observe them and then decide. We always tell our children to listen to us, but have we ever tried to listen to what they have to say? Their talks are just like search engine results, mostly out of context but some of it has little but promising information, all you need to do is listen, think, observe and sieve. You research about the best schools, speak to people about which curriculum is trending, figure calibrations, but STOP!, reflect and rethink, where is your child in all of this? The most important person is left behind somewhere!. Well schooling is just one decision in a child’s life but there are many other decisions too. Parents need to take time out of their busy schedules and lend listening ears to their children.

Young children express in various ways and observation is the only tool that parents have to understand their child better. Observing doesn't mean round the clock monitoring. Eavesdrop! on them. Eavesdropping can bring to shore surprising discoveries about your child. Children tend to express more vividly when they act in a secure but non-intrusive environment.

A few hacks to know your child better :-

  1. The Cry - working on your laptop or in the kitchen or busy on the phone, amidst all this when your child comes to you with teary eyes, one would just fondle and get back to work. But we need to understand that it’s very important to listen to them, why the crying? Maybe there is something more important than just losing a toy or asking for a candy. Little children undergo emotional development in a very sensitive manner.. There would be times when you see your child laughing and playing and suddenly the next moment he is weeping. The child is in a developing stage, there might not be any apparent reason for this, but it's never without a reason. He needs you at that time to help him manage his emotions. Don’t ignore. You would come to know of his emotional quotient.

  1. Playing objects - we know it!! Boys play with construction and transport materials and girls with dolls and tea sets. Really?! There can be things that you don’t buy but they would play with and maybe are happier playing with. Have you ever noticed your child while playing in a park (when you are not busy talking about the designer outfits of the lady of the town). Most of the time a child would leave the expensive toys you got along and play with stones, marbles and sand.. With sand they may comprehend a story, stones and marbles may teach them size and shape. Understand their interests and comprehension of the things and your small effort of making them think can probably get you results you wouldn’t have imagined. Their choice of objects for playing could help you decide a curriculum for him.

  1. Social skills - you take him places, the best places and ASSUME that your child will definitely enjoy BUT does he?? Observe if your child is comfortable with unfamiliar children, is he an initiator, does he mingle and does he explore new surroundings?

  1. Play with your child - Only getting the best of toys is not enough, your child needs your company. Take a break from your work and play with your child. As said by the greek philosopher Plato "You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." children express the most during play and that’s your catch to know your child the most. It will not only help you know the child better but also to bond better.